Am I Not Good Enough

It doesn’t take much to spark the thought of not being good enough. A look from a friend, a comment from a colleague, a message from a guy and suddenly we are reaching for the tissues telling ourselves we’ll never be enough. The single thought of not being good enough sparks an avalanche of outlandish statements that have us heading towards a down ward spiral. The “I’m too” and “I should be more” declarations come out. The feelings and emotions have us low in energy, withdrawing, shrinking and pulling away. ‘If only I were this’ and ‘If only I were that’. That single event triggering us into feelings of despair and darkness. Unable to see the sun from the trees, we inexplicably believe what our mind has made up to be the undisputed truth.

A thought such as “I am not good enough” comes from our core belief system which is held in the deepest place of our subconscious mind. A belief is the complete acceptance of a state of mind in which we find ourselves thinking something to be the truth. Whether or not, there is actual evidence to provide us with complete certainty it is the truth. Beliefs are embedded deep inside of us and we are constantly creating our life around them, aware or not, without thinking, questioning or analysing what we believe to be true about our self. Our reactions towards people, events and situations come from our core belief system. Since we don’t stop to question whether what we believe is our truth, we often react in anger, frustration or pain leading us away from connection, love and calm.

Our core beliefs are established in our early childhood from the ages of zero to seven years old. They are formed in order to protect us from what we were missing when we were children. As a result, as we age we attract experiences and situations that reflect back to us our negative core belief systems…reiterating to us that we are just not good enough and will never be. Left untamed our core beliefs will grow stronger and bigger in order to protect us from our perceived dangers. These beliefs make generalised assumptions that everything is our fault and essentially we are to blame.

There is a lot of inner work involved in deconstructing our false identify from our limiting, negative beliefs. One technique that can be used in the moment or shortly after to increase our awareness is journaling. When we have felt a trigger or noticed our energy is low reflect on the following questions:

What thought am I believing to be true?

What is the belief behind the thought that has been triggered?

Is this belief my truth?

What do I believe to be true about myself?

What positive evidence in my life do I have to support my truth?

What can I learn from this?

How can I respond differently in the future?

During this refection, a priceless insight will be provided into what core belief we hold about our self that we believe to be true. Through evaluation we can see how the belief may not be ours to begin with but a conditioned, habitual thought pattern we have outgrown. By providing our self with the space to reflect, we can receive clarity about our truth. From the awareness about our beliefs, we can find out what the triggers are for each of them and then our subsequent behaviour that follows. As we begin the journey on working on balancing out our negative, limiting beliefs with more authentic, positive and uplifting statements, it helps us to find the dialogue with our inner essence. Unearthing that spark and releasing our inner gifts. This change helps us in reaching our true potential, being the best version of our self we can be. We will begin to experience life in a whole new light and attract situations and experiences that are conducive to our development into our whole self. These new empowering beliefs help us in creating a life bursting in abundance and living from a deep place of love filled with purpose, passion and joy.


Elle Phillips is a mind detox therapist, coach and self love advocate. She helps women to develop a deep self-love by releasing past, healing hurts, shifting limiting beliefs and saying goodbye to that fearful voice. As a human being experiencing life on this planet, everyone deserve their own love and affection. You are enough and you are worthy! My intention is for women to see this light that resides within each of them and express their deepest desires.

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