I am totally on cloud nine! Taking massive action towards my dreams, following my path, feeling so energised and in sync with the universal power. Suddenly, an encounter with a person stops me. BOOM. It is like I travelled full speed into a brick wall.
“You can’t do that”
“You’re not qualified”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“You should be. They don’t care. They won’t listen.”
This person’s words poking old wounds. The words circling my mind. Echoing through right to my core. Shocked, shaken and dumbfounded, I lost my footing. This person’s comments piercing through me triggering my own shadow side. She started panicking: “You’re incompetent”, “we can’t do this”, “he is right”. Absorbing the words as if I had said them myself, taking them on as absolute truth no questions asked.
After a short while, a single thought popped into my head that changed my perception.
Is this my truth?
A sudden realisation that this is not mine to take. I recognised that all of the snide comments, hurtful words and put downs were not a reflection of me but a reflection of this person. I had unknowingly being dragged down the shadow path. We have all been down this road…too many times. We know how it ends, filled with approval seeking behaviour, self-defeating thoughts and chasing of love and affection endlessly feeding into our deepest fear that we are not good enough as we are. That we need to change in order to be loved.
I said, no more.
In that moment, I pushed the thoughts away. I will not take responsibility for someone else’s feelings. I will not play small for the comfort of another.
I am growing.
In the journey of owning ourselves, we will be faced with people who will try and pull us down. They will feel intimated by our growth, by our success or even by our ability to choose happiness. There are some who will quite happily say “you can’t do that” or “you should be scared”.
Tune it out.
Life is way too short to step off your level and onto someone else’s. In these moments of confrontation or feeling a trigger, stop and breathe find your own centre and ask yourself, “Do I believe this to be true about myself?”
If yes, process your own emotion- What are you feeling? Where are you feeling it? Explore where it came from and what old pattern of behaviour you are repeating. Once you have an understanding, consciously choose a different pattern…one that serves your personal growth and development
If no, DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT! Recognise the projection of a fellow human being and say “No, thank you”. I am a very visual person and I love mantras. When I feel a trigger or when someone has made a comment that pulls on my strings, I simply say “The switch is broken”. This allows me the space to step back, it lessens the trigger and I am not activated. Because well, the switch is broken, it is no longer in use.
Change- anything from mindset, to a different job to the people you surround yourself with- can be super challenging at times. It is important to keep n mind the ultimate goal of happiness and fulfilment. Everything that we experience happens with a purpose and a meaning. It serves as a way for us to awaken our inner light, breakdown old patterns of behaviour and grow into the person we are destined to be.
If we can embrace this truth with a loving, grateful energy in our hearts then no matter what happens we will be blessed.